The Secret to Getting Results

Don’t get attached to results. The result is who you get to become.

Vermont, July 2021

The outcome doesn’t matter. What matters is that you put in the work to prepare as best you can. The result is who you get to become because of it¹. 

So much of our lives is outcome driven. To win a game, to get a certain job, to complete that marathon, to plan the perfect trip. The problem with this is our happiness becomes dependent on accomplishing those things.

If we don’t win the game, then we’re the loser. If we don’t get the job then we’re a failure. If we don’t have the race we wanted, then was it even worth it?

Here’s the thing: It’s always worth it.

We shouldn’t measure our happiness by achieving or not achieving our goals. 

Yes, goals are still important, but more important are the habits we incorporate into our lives in an attempt to reach those goals. If we are consistent enough, habits form our identity². That’s the real result.

For example, if your goal is to run a marathon, crossing the finish line is only one outcome.

Ask yourself this: If you saw into the future that your knee will give out with 0.2 miles left of the 26.2 miles that make up a marathon, would it still be worth it to do the race? (This actually happened to a guy during the 2022 NYC Marathon).

I think it is. 

Finishing the race is not the only outcome in play. Who you become along the way as you work toward that goal is important too.

You became disciplined by joining a running group and became structured with your training. You ran on days when it was cold or rainy. You learned about race nutrition and started eating a healthier diet. You picked up strength training for injury prevention. Maybe you became a morning person. Perhaps you met new friends along the way who encouraged you and taught you new things. You felt the satisfaction of surpassing your previous running distances every time you ran 14, 18, and 20 miles on your training runs. You didn’t quit when things got challenging.

Those are outcomes too. Regardless of finishing the race or not, the result of pursuing this goal changed your identity as a person. 

Still skeptical if things are still worth it even if they don’t go according to plan? Just read this story.

Success isn’t something we achieve. It’s not finite. It's infinite and ever-evolving. It’s about the process. It’s about the becoming.

The Big “What If”

With anything we do, there’s always a chance it won’t go according to plan. Your highly anticipated flight got canceled, you busted your knee with a mile left in a race, or your team lost and the other one won. 

There’s a phrase in Stoicism, Premeditatio Malorum³, or the premeditation of evils. We know things won’t always go according to plan, so why do we get upset when they don’t?

It’s not about having a doomsday mindset, but about having a logical one. Upset your flight got canceled? It shouldn’t come as a surprise, it’s just something we can expect to happen. A mechanical issue, a staff shortage, and extreme weather. None of it is within our control. It’s no use being angry about it when it happens.

We should be at peace with the fact that when we book a flight, there’s a chance it won’t go according to plan. Maybe the result isn’t you getting to your destination on time, but that doesn’t take away from all the hard work that led you to try to make this trip happen.  

It’s not about obsessing over what can go wrong, or else we wouldn’t take leaps toward our goals. But it’s giving it a healthy amount of logical thought so that when things don’t go according to plan, we have the clarity to adjust course and enter a growth mindset. 

Take Anders Hofman, the first person to attempt and complete an Ironman-distance triathlon in Antarctica. While his goal was to complete it, the real result was who he got to become. How his identity changed.

Anders went from being someone who couldn’t last 30 seconds in ice water, to swimming almost 3 miles in it. He went from working at a consulting firm to learning about survival in extreme polar temperatures. Even if he stopped two miles short of finishing, his identity had already transformed.

Only when we are freed from our attachment to results, will we realize the result is who we get to become.

1. Based on ideas from Simon Sinek and the Yes Theory podcast

2. Based on ideas from Atomic Habits by James Clear

3. Read more about the stoic philosophy concept, premeditatio malorum, in Seneca’s teachings particularly and this Daily Stoic article