On Est Là - We Are Here

In a world of labels, just being Is enough

There is a concept called “third culture” that refers to someone who grew up in a culture different from their parent’s home culture. A bit like multi-cultural, but mostly it’s those who find it difficult to pinpoint one exact place of “home”. You don’t fully feel of one culture and not the other either.

Take me, for example. I was born in Colombia to Colombian parents, but since I grew up in the U.S., there are times I don’t feel entirely Colombian. Yet in the U.S., I don’t always feel fully American either. I’ve also spent a lot of time traveling and living abroad, so with every new place, I feel like I’ve added another layer to who I am. This in-between space is called a third culture.

In Paris a couple of weeks ago I was on my way to a meetup of a group called “Home: Third Culture Kids Club.” It’s for people who identify as a third culture who usually have long-winded answers for “where are you from?” and “where is home?”.

Our mission was to bring a small bouquet of flowers and meet at the Luxembourg Gardens, where we would all share our flowers and re-assemble a new bouquet we could take home with us.

I was scrambling at the last minute trying to find a flower shop and was on a bike weaving my way through the streets of the Latin Quarter when I finally spotted a shop. In a rush, I leaned my bike against the wall and went inside.

Poppy flowers, sunflowers (my favorite), pretty red flowers. I picked a couple of each and went back outside to my bike, only to almost bump into two other people who were also browsing the flowers. We all made eye contact and in a mix of languages asked if we were also going to the Third Culture Kids meetup. We all were.

My two new friends walked me to park the bike at the station and from there we all walked together to the gardens while explaining our mix of cultures and places we consider home.

Sara was born in London to Spanish and Pakistani parents but then moved to France as a kid. Mamed is Algerian and moved to France for school. We all gave our long-winded answers of where we consider “home” and I learned that a lot of people have way longer answers than me. It wasn’t a competition of cultures and languages, but rather sharing a bonding moment over the ambiguous question of “where are you from?”

Then the topic moved on to “What do you do?” And Mamed replied, “On est lààà.” With a dragged out làààààà. I don’t speak French so didn’t know what he meant.

“It means we are just here,” he said. Just being. Just here.

That stuck with me. Just in the moment. We are living, and that’s enough. (Later I found out the phrase became popular because of a YouTube video about unemployment… but I still like the concept haha). Our jobs are only part of who we are. Perhaps sometimes we forget to bring into conversation about other aspects of our lives.

I already forgot what he said he did for work. I remember just walking with him and Sara to the gardens where we met about 40 other third culture people. I met someone who has Russian and Ukrainian parents. I met someone who’s Cameroonian-American-French but grew up in London. And the founder of the group who’s mom is Ukranian-American, dad is French-Moroccan, and was raised in Spain, Russia, and Hong Kong. And we all just spent time together just being. Making flower bouquets. And guess what… that was enough.

Maybe we are all a bit like our flower bouquets at the end of the afternoon. Mismatched and re-arranged, but very beautiful and vibrant. In the end, just like our flowers, we were bound together with a little string and wrapped in paper, taken home and watered. Then just left to be. To live. To be here.

That’s what I love about Paris. Here you still see people just being. Sitting on a park reading a book. Sitting at a cafe and people-watching. Staring out the window. Sitting next to the Seine, thinking. Just arranging flowers in the middle of the Luxembourg Gardens in Paris with a bunch of strangers turned friends. Being. Just here. And that is enough. That is everything.

On est là.