Feeling Stuck?
You're not alone. Here are some different ways to shift our perspective.
Feeling stuck is inevitable. It means we are experiencing an inner state in which we want to move forward, change something, or feel differently, but we feel unable to make progress or act. It could feel like we are overthinking every decision, like nothing feels right, that we know something needs to change, but don’t know what or how to change. If you’re reading this, that means you’re probably no stranger to this feeling too.
In realizing I am not alone in this struggle, I decided to explore the theme of feeling stuck, and make that the theme for this essay.
What is feeling stuck?
Feeling stuck is a kind of tension. It’s a mental and emotional strain. It’s an in-between state from where we are now to where we want to go. But for those who dare to step into the long journey of reaching our next goal, that usually means an inevitable dance with anxiety, pressure, or analysis paralysis. Because this journey is long and tainted with uncertainty and restlessness.
But if we are determined to pursue our dreams and goals, feeling stuck is natural and unavoidable. The danger comes when we give in to those moments and let them convince us to stop. It’s not a question of if, but when.
In this essay, we will explore four ways we can ease the discomfort of feeling stuck. These are things I’ve learned from books, mentors, or strangers on my travels:
1. Patience
Rainer Maria Rilke, author of “Letters to a Young Poet,” wrote, “Practiced in the present, patience is the art of courting the future.” This is a reminder to us that patience means being gentle with our process of becoming, for just as nature can’t rush the growth of a flower, we cannot rush toward our full bloom. Patience means embracing our feelings of stagnancy, while not falling to the trap of giving up. It means riding the seasons as they ebb and flow, and sitting with the work, especially when nothing appears to be happening.
A few summers ago, I was deep in the forests of Germany, training in Shaolin Kung Fu. Our master told us a story about bamboo. He explained that bamboo seedlings take a very long time to sprout. They spend a lot of time setting up a network of strong roots, and on the surface it looks like nothing is happening. We start to question what we did wrong. Did we plant them incorrectly, water them too much, or too little? While our bamboo shows no signs of life, the other plants around it are lush and blooming. Then one day, without warning, the bamboo breaks through the ground and shoots up to incredible heights.
Just because we don’t see immediate results doesn’t mean the work isn’t happening underneath. Sometimes no one can see the growth, not even us, especially when we’re in the thick of it. That’s usually when we start to feel stuck. These are the moments when we have to find a balance between not giving up, continuing to move forward, and having the patience and faith to let time do the rest. Everyone is in a different stage of growth.
2. The moment doesn’t have to be perfect.
A few years ago, I was invited last minute to be in a YouTube video and flown out to Europe for what I thought would be a quick four–day trip. They covered the flights, so it felt like a fun, unexpected opportunity even though the timing wasn’t ideal. The plan was simple: film, explore a little, and head back home. But that trip didn’t end after four days. It unfolded into three months of travel across Europe, Asia, and even Australia, with the flights covered the entire way. While I had plans and responsibilities waiting for me back home, something in me knew that if I waited for a “better” moment, it might never come. Saying yes changed my life. It opened my world, shaped my perspective, and taught me that an imperfect moment can still be the right one.
The moment doesn’t have to be perfect for us to make a move, whether it’s changing jobs, moving to a new city or country, or ending a relationship. We often wait for ideal conditions before taking action, without seeing that the imperfect moment in front of us might actually be the best time to begin. It’s when we move toward a goal that we create room for opportunity to show up. Progress, not perfection.
3. It’s okay to feel different.
Somewhere along the way, we’re taught that life is supposed to unfold on a linear timeline: college at 18, partying at 21, career at 22, love of your life in your mid-20s, marriage, a house, kids, and so on. And when our lives don’t come anywhere close to that, it’s easy to feel like we are behind or different from everyone around us. Some people fall in love at 22 and others at 40; some have a breakthrough business early in their careers, while it takes others years; some feel happy with late nights at bars, while others feel happy with early training for marathons.
Feeling different doesn’t mean we are living life wrong, or that we are off schedule. Our timing may be unconventional, nonlinear, messy, or beautifully unexpected, but that’s exactly what makes our life, OUR life.
I struggle with feeling different for many reasons, but one of the biggest is how unconventional my life has looked over the past few years. I’ve spent the last four summers living and working from different parts of the world, while many of my friends back home are settling into routines, getting engaged, moving up in their careers, or buying homes. It’s not that anyone is pressuring me directly, but there’s an unspoken sense of when life is supposed to follow certain steps or stages, and it’s easy to notice when your path doesn’t line up with that.
During those summers abroad, my life has unfolded in ways I never expected. I spent time in Paris, trained in Shaolin Kung Fu, joined spontaneous trips with people I met online, ran ultramarathons, and slowly built my business. None of it matches the traditional timeline, but each experience shaped me in ways I never expected and wouldn’t trade. They make me, me.
Someone recently reminded me that reaching thirty without having the same experiences as everyone else doesn’t mean we’re behind. Maybe we didn’t go through the typical dating phase in our 20s, or never felt drawn to the traditional corporate career path. Maybe we chose travel over settling down, or spent more time on personal projects. None of that means we’re late. It simply means our timing is different, and those chapters, whatever they look like, might unfold for us at a moment that fits who we are.
4. The way is the goal.
When I get asked, “What was the best part of your travels?” I’ve realized in my responses that it’s never about the place; it’s about the people. The people I meet are those who teach me life’s most important lessons.
In the beach town of Essaouira, Morocco, this summer, I was watching the sunset with two new German friends I had just met at a restaurant a few hours before. While they were trying to say the phrase, “The journey is the destination,” what came out was, “The way is the goal.”
I loved this phrase they came up with because it’s a reminder that the pauses, the detours, and the slow chapters of life are part of the goal, too. They are part of the path that’s trying to teach us who we are. The moments of standstill, feelings of stagnancy, and long waits are part of the long way home. One day, we will look back on the chapters of our life where nothing seemed to happen as crucial moments that quietly shaped us.
Embracing the slow chapters
The places, experiences, and people we encounter are all part of the way. Having a goal is helpful to keep our sails moving toward something, but we must remember that sometimes the smooth and quiet seas are drifting us in that direction too.
Life isn’t always a ferocious whirlwind of energy and movement. Sometimes it’s quiet, subtle, and slow. Sometimes we see more signposts on our road and more directions, while other times there are fewer. It doesn’t mean we have stopped moving. Feeling stuck isn’t the absence of progress; it’s part of the way. And the way is the goal. The way is the treasure.
Enjoyed this story? Give it a “like” by hitting the heart button, share it with a friend who you think would enjoy it, or leave a comment if it resonated with you. If you feel stuck, remember you are not alone, it happens to all of us! Thanks for reading:) —Maria
Went to Morocco With a Stranger I Met Online.
Fifteen years ago, I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and it lit a fire in me to one day journey to Spain, Morocco, and Egypt. In 2016 I made it to Andalucia, Spain, where the book’s story began. I remember standing on the coast of Tarifa looking across the water to the shores of Tanger, Morocco, knowing that that’s whe…