Becoming a runner

If you want to be a writer, just write. If you want to be a musician, play music. If you want to be a runner, just run. Do the verb, be the noun. Action is identity.

New York | July 2021

Becoming | verb | come to be, grow to be, turn into

If you want to be a writer, just write. If you want to be a musician, play music. If you want to be a runner, just run. Do the verb, be the noun. Action is identity, as Chase Jarvis says.

We are quick to accept labels others place on us, yet hesitant to step into the ones we want ourselves to be. You don’t need anyone’s permission to call yourself a runner. If you run, you are a runner.

I love running. I didn’t always. But I now find the pain poetic and catch myself laughing at the ridiculousness of long runs. When my feet move below me and my head floats to the tops of clouds I travel to a different dimension.

But if you’re anything like me, there’s an awkward phase between when you do the verb and before you feel comfortable becoming the noun. The gap is the becoming. The turning into, the growing, the coming to be. Because you don’t just become something overnight, it’s an infinite evolution. As humans, we are always becoming something.

The result is who you get to be

I don’t think it was a coincidence that the Austin Half Marathon last Sunday happened to coincide with my 26th birthday. A half marathon equating to half my age.

To me, running has become part of my becoming. My evolution. On Sunday during the half marathon, I had an epiphany: “Don’t get attached to results. The result is who you get to become.”

As my friend Matt Ferro once told me, races are just celebrations of your training. To that I add: Races are celebrations of your training and celebrations of who you get to become because of it.

Often the best things in life happen in the most unexpected ways. Running became an unexpected love story and a huge part of my becoming. I don’t take it for granted, but it’s become second nature.

Warning sign: Running is about to change your life

I would have never guessed my life would dramatically shift because of running. I never would have guessed I’d find a community of people where I felt I belonged. That my entire lifestyle would change. That I’d become a morning person, that I’d run while traveling as a way to sight-see. That it would lead me to discover my inner extrovert who had been hiding for 23 years. That I’d never have a shortage of friends to run with, that I’d run-commute to errands. That running would be my companion during a worldwide pandemic. That I’d end up working in the running industry and speaking on running podcasts. That it would be the gateway to endurance sports like doing a 70.3 Ironman and 10-mile swim. That I’d run a marathon (and survive the training), that I’d end up being a co-leader of a running and fitness group.

Never in a million years would I have guessed that running would be the vehicle to my closest friendships, a catalyst of my professional career, a seed of personal evolution, and bring so much joy into my life.

Those things never crossed my mind when I first started identifying as a runner. It was 2018 and I had just started getting out of my comfort zone attending my first November Project workout and my first run group, Morning Jo’s. I had to give myself a pep-talk before going to my first Morning Jo’s run because I was petrified. I had never run in a group before, didn’t know anyone, and I’d never run more than two miles without stopping. Most of our fears are self-imposed. Sometimes the only person holding you back is yourself.

Doubt is ego seeking attention

Of course, there are moments of doubt. But doubt is only ego seeking attention. Sometimes I’d catch myself running 7 miles, then on Strava see someone run 18 miles. My heart would sink and I’d lose my satisfaction of having just run 7 miles. I’d say to myself that even though I run for fun, I’m not a runner because I can’t just go run 18 miles. I could never do that. Whoever said comparison is the thief of joy, is right.

Everyone is on their own journey. Your long run is someone’s short and someone else’s long. Your fast run is someone’s slow run but also someone’s dream speed. Embrace where you are and find joy in it.

Limit Lines

Nelson Mandela said, "It always seems impossible until it's done." In the beginning, running a half marathon seemed impossible until it wasn’t. After achieving that, the thought of running any distance over 13.1 miles felt scary because for the three years following that race, never ran more than that.

I don’t think I ever intended on running a marathon. Until serendipity happened and there I was with a ticket into to New York City Marathon. One does not simply let that pass.

I had been in the security line at the airport on the way to Vermont for a 10-mile swim race when I got a call asking if I wanted to run New York. For perspective, I was more scared of the thought of running for 4 hours than swimming for 6. Dread set in. I’d have to run 20 miles as training. It seemed insurmountable. Yes, I’ll run it.

We all have ceilings we place on ourselves, and a beautiful thing in life is being able to push our ceilings a little higher each time. For me, 13 miles had been my ceiling until the week came I had to do 15. Then 18. Then 20.

“Remember you don’t have to do this,” my friend Mary told me right before the run, “you get to do this.” Limitations are perceptions. Grab some friends, play a little Hamilton on your headphones, and suddenly you can do anything you set your mind to.

Remember where you started and how far you've come

Even if it's baby steps, it's important to celebrate whenever we push our limit line a little bit further.

Before 2018 I had never run more than 3 miles, never biked more than 10, or swam more than 4. But in 4 years you can accomplish a lot if you have the right people around you and the right attitude.

It took me 20 years of swim practice to reach the milestone of swimming 10 miles. It took me 2 years of running to commit to running a marathon. It took two years of biking every week to build up to doing a century ride. It took a dash of crazy to combine all three sports and do a 70.3 Ironman.

Those things look different to everyone. Those are just examples from my life. But the bottom line is it’s not about conquering these things overnight. It's about chipping at them day in and day out. Then you will realize they have always been possible. Consistency overrides deficiency, a mentor often reminds me.

Remember, races aren’t about results. They aren’t about the end goal. The real result is the person you get to become from practicing them.

The road to becoming

On the road to becoming, it’s often the hard days that count. The ones where it’s hard to pull ourselves out of bed. The ones where you question why you put yourself through this in the first place.

But it’s also important to celebrate the ones where everything seems to flow. Where your feet seem to carry you in a weightless sensation. Where answers come to you effortlessly while you glide through the streets. Where you catch your breath, smile, and whisper to yourself, “I feel alive” at a stoplight.

For you, maybe it’s not running. It can be whatever movement you feel brings you both peace and challenge. A dichotomy of push and pull. Whatever helps you build strength, practice consistency, and brings mental clarity. Whatever brings you joy.

Remember, if you run, you are a runner. Embrace it. Become it. Become it until it becomes part of you.

Thank you for reading. With love,

Maria